THAT FRIEND THAT TURNS EVERY SINGLE THING YOU SAY INTO A SEXUAL INNUENDO
I am that friend….
Oh my fucking god.
Wow. Just, wow.
That made me happy.
about 45 seconds in I realized what a stupid sounding name Frodo is.
Omg, I love. Sam Sam SAAAMMM!!
I am starting to think I have a procrastination problem…
I’ll sort it later… :P
This is the main reason for my general annoyance with lack of size regulation in the fashion industry…
men’s pants are labeled by waist and inseam measurement. women’s pants are labeled by voodoo. even though i do not buy women’s pants, i can recognize this as objectively dumb.
THE NOTES ON THIS
because i can’t stress this enough. this is why i don’t let the numbers get to me. as jumpingjacktrash so eloquently said “women’s pants are labeled by voodoo.”
so when boys make fun of girls taking forever to shop and trying everything on
WE FUCKING HAVE TO OR NOTHING WILL FIT
…”Women’s pants are labeled by voodoo”
I can look at this two ways.
Either I’ve wasted 6 months doing absolutely nothing with my life.
It’s only 6 months until Christmas.
Or 6 months until the doctor dies.
I think it would be nice to be able to wear extravagant hats, and gloves, and all these extravagant clothes and not be on the street and not be mocked for it or questioned why… If you wear a fantastic hat during the day in the street people say ‘where are you going? why are you dressed like that?’ and it’s maybe the most annoying question in the world. Why do we have to have a reason to dress up or to be glamorous or to have fun? Why do we have to have a reason for it? I hate it when people ask me why. Why not?
also, duct tape on your arms, a few layers, but not too tight. basically it’ll stop a zombie taking a chunk out of your arm if you’re reloading or your blade gets jammed in a zombie
wearing a wetsuit underneath your clothing would also be useful. remember; they were human once, humans have blunt teeth! you try biting through duct tape AND a wet suit
never duct tape joints, your movements will be limited, and you want to be fast and danger (gotta go fast)
don’t hole up in small houses either that’s a recipe for disaster, you want somewhere with a secure upstairs, and a way down from the upstairs that is zombie free or can easily be cleared of zombies (avoid fire exits with steps leading up to them though, unless they have gates at the bottom)
sound = attraction, so if you do have guns, use them only in emergencies or for the sake of popping one head you’ll be greeted with many many more
raid your local medical shops, and get there first, nobody is going to stop and share it out equally while they’re panicking. don’t hit out at somebody unless they hit out at you, though, you already have unintelligent corpses pitted against you, you don’t want sentient humans on your case as well (zombies don’t do the revenge thing, humans do!)
try not to piss people off, because as stated before, yes, humans like revenge
don’t try and be clever and use yourself as live bait; yes playing the hero is glorious in movies, but it doesn’t work so glamorously in real life
large numbers isn’t a good idea. you want small groups, even if you just branch out from being in a larger group, because if there’s a lot of you you are a bigger target, but don’t then go off and decide to be in groups that are too small in case you get surrounded (in which case, the duct tape and wet suits will come in handy)
food shouldn’t be that hard to come by, most people would have attempted to flee the area straight from their houses and packed what they had, raiding local shops could still be worth it. but remember, know your way in, your way out, and double check there’s nothing in the shop ready to sneak up behind you while you’re reaching up for that tin of beans
half balaclava masks or something similar to cover your lower face while fighting zombies could also be useful, you don;t want to accidentally ingest flying zombie fluids and end up one of them, that’d be a nasty surprise for your group to wake up to (since going solo possibly isn’t a good idea)
and always, ALWAYS, have a way to start a fire on you
Stan Lee shitting on the Hollywood industry.
Man! I Feel Like A Woman - Shania Twain (pitched down)
I dont know why this made me laugh so much, but it kinda sounds like it should be on a drag act XD
Frodo and Sam are like Dan and Phil while Merry and Pippin are like Charlie and Alex.
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